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MindSwitch Mondays Issue #35: How to talk with your kids about goal setting.
Setting goals vs just surviving. Oftentimes we start the year feeling unsure of what we want. Or as we reflect on last year’s goals, we may feel unproductive or disappointed for not accomplishing these goals. Truth is, you are not alone.
Research shows that only 8% of people who set New Year’s goals actually accomplish them. Most of the time it comes down to habits to keep us accountable.
When it comes to habits, most people believe that we must swing for the fences in order to reach our true potential in any given area. James Clear believes the opposite is true; improving just 1% every day leads to dramatic results.
So if we improve our habits daily by 1%, this will help us achieve our goals?
Yes!
Knowing what we want + improving daily by 1% = Success!
But let’s understand why goals help us?
Goals help us trigger momentum in life, align our focus, promote a sense of self-mastery, and they promote new behaviors. In the end, we can’t change by doing the same thing. If we want to move forward in life, we need to know where we want to move. Just like going to the grocery store. We don’t know what we need to buy if we don’t have a list.
Let’s focus on our kids now.
How can we help our kids set their goals and be successful at them?
(Quick note: In order to write this framework, I first had this conversation with my five and seven year old. I wanted to try out this framework myself and see how it worked. Success! They have posted their goals in their rooms to remember everyday!)
- Set the Stage. The first question my kids asked me was, What is a goal? We first talked about what goals are, what they mean, and what they are useful for.
- Reflect on previous goals achieved. This helped my kids understand what goals are and made them aware they already had achieved goals.
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Help them look forward. This is the key part. After understanding what they have already done (subconsciously or consciously), ask them “What is one goal you want to accomplish this coming year?”
- Less is more. Guide them to choose one big goal for the year.
- Keep it simple & fun!. Kids can draw or cut out from a magazine what they want to accomplish to make a visual board.
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When setting the goal let's be SMART:
- Be specific about what they want to achieve.
- Determine how they will measure their goal.
- Ask them, is this goal achievable? Do they have previous skills they will build on?
- Is this goal relevant for their development? For their interests? Why do they want to accomplish this?
- How much time will they set to achieve this goal? What Time do they have to achieve it?
Goals need to be SMART, Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound in order to be successful. However, if our kids do FAIL at their goals it is only their First Attempt In Learning. Resilience and consistent effort will bring more rewards in the future.
When kids get practyice at goal setting early on, they are able to carry this habit into adulthood. Starting small gives them the confidence they need to continue this habit and build on their skills.
I know guiding my kids through goal setting can be challenging if I don’t have practice myself. Check out this framework I found useful by Sahil Bloom:
January 1st 2022
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I hope you found this helpful. Email me your thoughts, I respond to every email I get!
Have a great week. Until next monday!
Stay safe, stay healthy,
Alexandra
Follow me on my social media adventures as education evolves!
Hi! I'm Alexandra
Want to raise confident, curious, and resilient kids? Get expert insights, practical tips, and real strategies delivered straight to your inbox! Plus, join my book club on The Anxious Generation to dive deeper into how technology is shaping childhood—and what we can do about it.Understand how kids learn best. Create the right conditions for growth—anywhere. Stay ahead in the digital age of parenting. Subscribe now! Just enter your email, check your inbox, and hit CONFIRM. Let’s redefine parenting—together!
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