Hi Friends,

There’s a conversation I’ve been having with myself lately, and maybe you’ve had it too. It starts like this:

Am I doing enough to keep my kids safe?

It’s a natural question for any parent. But somewhere along the line, safety turned into control. We’ve gone from setting boundaries and teaching life skills to tracking every move—every step—with Apple trackers and tech tools designed to calm our anxieties.

I get it. The world feels unpredictable and, at times, dangerous. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder: Are these tools really for our kids’ safety, or are they a reflection of our fears?

Here’s the thing: by leaning too heavily on control, we compromise the very qualities we want to cultivate—independence, resilience, and confidence.

When we hover over our children, tracking every move, we’re sending an unspoken message:
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I don’t trust you to navigate the world on your own.

That’s a hard truth to sit with, isn’t it?

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Why Trust Matters

Think back to when you were a kid. Remember the thrill of riding your bike beyond the block for the first time? Or the time you handled a tricky situation without an adult stepping in?

Those moments weren’t just about freedom—they were about growth. And today, many of our kids are missing out on those essential lessons because we’re so focused on keeping them in a bubble of safety.

Now, this is where it gets interesting: resilience comes from risk. Kids learn to trust themselves by making mistakes, facing challenges, and finding solutions. And when we don’t give them space to do that, we’re robbing them of critical opportunities to grow.

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How Do We Flip the Script?

Shifting from fear-driven parenting to trust-driven parenting isn’t easy. It means facing our own anxieties and intentionally choosing to let go in ways that foster our kids’ independence.

Here are five simple steps to start building trust and autonomy in your parenting:

1️⃣ Start Small
​Let your child make decisions about age-appropriate activities. Whether it’s picking an after-school club or managing their allowance, give them space to practice decision-making.

2️⃣ Teach Safety Basics
​Equip your kids with practical safety skills—memorizing key phone numbers, learning how to ask for help, or navigating their neighborhood. These tools build confidence and prepare them for real-world situations.

3️⃣ Encourage Problem-Solving
​When your child encounters a challenge, resist the urge to swoop in. Instead, ask questions like, What do you think you could try? or How can you handle this?

4️⃣ Model Trust
​Show them that you believe in their abilities. Assign responsibilities, like walking the dog or planning a family meal, and celebrate their successes.

5️⃣ Reflect and Reassess
​Take a step back and evaluate your fears. Ask yourself: Are my boundaries helping my child grow, or are they about my need to feel in control?

Why This Matters

The goal isn’t to abandon all safety measures—it’s to find balance. To guide our kids while giving them room to grow.

When we step back and allow them to navigate their world, we’re showing them that we trust their judgment, believe in their abilities, and support their independence. That’s the foundation for raising resilient, capable, and confident young adults.

So, here’s my challenge for this week: What’s one way you can step back and build trust with your child? Let me know—I’d love to hear how you’re flipping the script in your home.

Until next week,

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Alexandra

P.S. Free Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy offers great insight on how to let go and let grow!

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