Hi Friends,
A few weeks ago, someone said to me, “But we all got our first phones at 13—it’s normal.”

And I had to pause.

Yes, many of us might have gotten our first phones around that age—but the phones we got and the world we lived in were entirely different.

Here’s what I want to share this week: A phone at 13 in 2005 is not the same as a phone at 13 in 2025.

Back then, it was a flip phone. No front-facing camera. No social media apps. No infinite scroll. The most you could do was text your friends, maybe play Snake, and call your parents when you got to school.

Today’s 13-year-olds carry devices that give them 24/7 access to filtered perfection, anonymous feedback, algorithm-driven content, and constant social comparison—all during a stage of life when their identity and self-worth are still forming.

We tend to see phones as neutral tools—but in reality, they are loaded experiences that shape how kids relate to the world and themselves.

The Shift from Then to Now

Let’s break it down:

📞 Then: A tool for safety and occasional connection.

📲 Now: A portal to curated identities, dopamine loops, and digital dependency.

💬 Then: Texting friends after school.

💬 Now: Managing a personal brand across multiple platforms in real-time.

🧠 Then: Boredom led to creativity.

🧠 Now: Boredom is instantly numbed with content—leaving no space to process thoughts, emotions, or even silence.

The challenge is that many of us are still operating from the “then” mentality—believing that giving a phone is simply a rite of passage, a milestone in maturity. But the stakes have changed.

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That’s Why I’m Speaking at the EA Webinar

I’m excited to announce that I’ll be speaking at the upcoming EA Webinar, where we’ll be diving into this exact conversation—through the lens of Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation.

We’ll explore:

- Why today’s teens are more anxious and socially fragile

- The role phones and social media play in development

- How overprotecting in the real world + under protecting online has backfired

- What we can do—practically, urgently, and together—to flip the script

Because here’s the truth:

If we want resilient kids, then we have to give them more freedom in the real world—and less exposure in the virtual one.

We’re not powerless. We’re just waking up to how different the terrain really is.

🗓 Interested in bringing this conversation to your school? As a proud aligned organization of The Anxious Generation, I’d be honored to facilitate a webinar for your parent or educator community. Just hit reply and let’s explore how to make it happen.

Keep the Conversation Going

If you’re thinking about how and when to introduce phones in your own home, or how to undo the overload that’s already there—you’re not alone.

📚 Recommended Read:

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

This is the book fueling this movement—grounded in research, filled with practical insight, and sparking conversations that matter.

📖 Also worth reading:

“Why Gratitude Is a Game-Changer for Kids” – a powerful article on building resilience and emotional regulation in the digital age.

Let’s keep asking the hard questions. Let’s get curious instead of reactive. And most of all, let’s raise kids who are grounded, connected, and truly well.
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I’ll continue to explore this idea and share what I come up with.

In the meantime, you can learn more about my upcoming Book Clubs Here.

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Until next week,

Alexandra

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