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Hi Friends,

It’s been a while since my last newsletter MindSwitch Mondays, but I assure you I haven't stopped thinking about EduParenting.

Now more about screen time and smartphones.

This summer I was struggling to keep my kids off screens and get them engaged in play-based childhood activities. I can feel some eyebrows raising now, mhm, I think I’m not alone in this. Aren’t I?

We went through arguments, having timers to stop screen time use, and even setting consequences because they would not hand me the screen voluntarily. Of course I knew this was not how I wanted to handle things, but it just got harder and harder.

Until one day it stopped.

And this is what I want to share with you.

I read “The Anxious Generation” by Jonathan Haidt, where he shares his findings on how the great rewiring of childhood is causing an epidemic of mental illness. And wow does it make all the sense in the world!

My kids are nine and eight years old, they only have an ipad for schoolwork, and the home TV. I haven't given them a smartphone yet. And after reading this book it will surely not happen any time soon. Just another device to lure them into the virtual world. But I know it’s not about how many devices we give our kids, but about the time they spend on any device. Period.

“Time is gold!”

And this is just a part of what Benjamin Franklin wrote in his essay “Advice to a Young Tradesman” back in 1748.

Time in childhood should be spent in play. A kids' main job is play. Haidt shares in his book “Play is the work of childhood.”

Play is what builds connections, develops skills, and inspires our kids to discover who they are in this world.

Sadly, we have let technology turn things upside down for our kids. Surely technological advances offer opportunities for our kids, and for us. But childhood wasn’t made for our kids to live in the virtual world.

Human childhood is wired to be lived through play.

I had been allowing my kids to use their ipads to play minecraft. They were building houses and virtual worlds, spending about 1 hour a day building their virtual worlds on these platforms. Some of you might think this is not much time, other kids spend more time on screens. And some of you might think, wow that's a long time for a kid on a screen. The thing is they were often cranky, fighting among themselves more frequently, and at the end of the day were getting annoyed for not having enough time to play. But in reality, they did. The situation turned from being about how much time, to what quality of summer play time my kids were having.

Something had to change.

First I tried suggesting play activities to distract them from wanting ipad time. It worked for 30 minutes. Other times I hid the TV remote and IPads, but they just became excellent at finding them. I felt like a house cop giving couch parking tickets all day long.

So I called for a family meeting during breakfast and told them all about what I had been reading and learning about in the book. They were attentive and curious. I told them about the risks of screens, the downsides of a phone-based childhood, and we even got into how our brain develops. But our conversation focused more on what they wanted for their childhood.

I told them it was time to make a choice.

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Drum roll please…
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Guess what! They decided not to use iPads anymore. YES!

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Both understood the advantages of a play-based childhood and the disadvantages of a phone-based childhood.

It became clear to them, but more so to me. Kids need to understand why we ask things of them and why we don’t allow others. They need to be given the practice since young to make choices for themselves, with the support from a loving responsible caretaker.

Kids need responsibility and autonomy over their lives. Getting them involved in decisions like these, gives them practice for adulthood.

My kids are still watching around an hour or so of TV, but they decide on one thing to watch together, and it's more of a family activity.

I put together a Book Club on “The Anxious Generation” to build a community of parents who want to give their kids a play-based childhood and learn how social media, especially, is harming our kids. I am so excited that seats were filled just a few days after opening enrollment. But if you are interested in joining our next group, join our waitlist here.

Thank you for reading.

I am back with MindSwitch Mondays, and it feels so good!

Until next week,

Alexandra

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